Then it must have beenYou'll need help getting home.But don't worry, I only lie about furniture, nothing else.
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wedding-night jitters.Yeah, I'm gonna ask Carrie.Are you upset?
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He says it happens sometimes.Why do you have to ask Carrie when I'm of-fering?You smoke?
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Since she was in the white dress, I reached for a white lie.Because, you know, Carrie is my friend.Just a little.
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Happens to everybody.ok, and what am I?When the lie came out of my mouth, I real-ized how much I liked him.
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I should have slept with him On the first date.We haven't established that yet.If it bothers you, I'll just... I had a great time.
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Maybe he jerked off before you got there,Are you coming up? I can taste that cigarette.
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and he was too embarrassed to tell you.We haven't established that yet. I'm sorry, I have an Altold.
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I do love him.What are we doing here?I think you're... I totally get it. I have a mint here.
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And he loves you.I mean, are we...Steve, after they flip the eye up,these jets... And over on the East SideThey are curiously strong.
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Maybe he did jerk off.at a more charlotte-friendly bar, the ice tea princess began her quest for a white knight. can you just hold that?
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If you don't wanna go through this, you don't have to.oh, my God. He's so cute. Sure .
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We'll just get a cab, and everyone will just have to get over it.cute, right?I don't wanna be a jerk, but I can't date a smoker.
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No. I'm getting married.Very cute.So... Really?
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Ok, go.And I'm a professional.It's a thing I have.
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Ok.I have to meet him.I couldn't believe what my crush was saying. I was crushed.
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Carrie!Hey, you didn't leave.And my mouth is up here.
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Come here.You're just over here now.Is there a problem?
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Don't tell anyone. Go.Let me buy you a drink.I can't do this. You're a bad kisser.
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Ok, go.I'm not interested.It's my thing.
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Charlotte was 34, single, and standing in a $14,000 dress.One drink.Where are you going?
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She was getting married.I'll even buy Blondie here one.Downtown at Marty Mendleson's, others were experiencing
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Not even a low libido could stop her.One little drink.a much more successful first kiss.
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Could you hold this for a second?Excuse me. She's not interested.Let's move it to the bedroom.
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Sure.Am I talking to you?These are my dolls.
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Hey, you.No. come on...You're not listening. The lady said...Hey, fuck you.I've been Collecting them for years.
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I walked around for about an hour.I'm sorry about that.I had no idea.
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couldn't bring myself to go in.Did you hurt your hand?This...is the Queen of Siam.
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I'm so sorry, Aidan.No.She's my favorite.
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I know that.His name was Arthur.Bisque china face.
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I never meant to hurt you.He was a nice, sweet, handsome, great in-vestment banker who lived between Madi-son and Fifth.She's a real Collector's item.
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I know.So, maybe there really were white knights.And this...is Mary, Queen of Scots.
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But I did. I'm sorry.The day after charlotte met her knight, I met my credit card limit. Are they all queens?
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Couldn't it be like the wood?With no man in sight, I decided to rescue my ankles from a life of boredom by purchasing too many pairs of Jimmy choo shoes. The ones from Madame Alexander's.
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That's my flaw, and... ...and you're the other wood, and that makes us stronger.Hello, my name is Bill Kelley and I'm gonna be your city comptroller.Help me clear the bed?
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It's not that simple, Carrie.You're not seriously here.No, the Southern Belle
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I wish I didn't know about this.I assure you I am.sits on the table.
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I just wanted to be honest with you.I brought some voter registration forms. I filled out your name.Was Stanford enough of a queen to sleep with one who Collected queens?
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People make mistakes.Under occupation I put heartbreaker.Uptown at Fusion, Samantha felt a bit like a queen herself.
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I just know myself. This is not the kind of thing I can get over.I really did. Look.Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?
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I just need to be on my own for a while.You're like a Jehovah's Witness with a good suit.Thank you.
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Me on my own.How long have you been here?What's up, genius?
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I really loved you.Your number is not listed.Genius' overtired ass is dragging all over this restaurant.
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Carrie, they need us for photos.What did you buy?Aunt Alice and her friends are leaving, If you want to pay your respects.
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Ok.Shoes.Favorite aunt. I'll introduce you.
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I told him.Let me see.Aunt Alice is out of the door already.
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It's hard to find people who will love you no matter what.Sit down and show me.You go and I'll talk with Samantha.
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Here we go. Smile.God, you are...I know.How is everything?
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Everybody looks beautiful.I'm not showing you a shoe.Chivon is right, you are a genius.
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I was lucky enough to find three of them.y.Thank you.
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Everything in my apartment is now beige.Hey, I need a favor.A nonfood related question. What's
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Beige is bullshit.You do?going on between you and Chivon?
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I thought you wanted beige.It's for the city of New York. What do you mean?
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Yeah, well... it doesn't quite fit.I really am one of the good guys. You've been in here three times.
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Have you got a smoke?I'm carrying all the boroughs but I need help with Staten island.Well, we're dating. Why?
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I quit.You want one?You're not just fucking?
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We always used to share a cigarette together.No, I had one on Thursday.Not that's any of your business, but no, we're not just fucking.
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We did a lot of things that were bad for me together.Here's the thing.We Actually really like each other.
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I have a secret to tell you.I gotta go back out there to do a schmooze at the Capri restaurant on Sunday night and I want you to go with me.I don't want you seeing my brother.
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It's not working.And why is that? Excuse me?
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I'm getting out.Because they have great Italian. I don't approve.
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If you know anyone who's interested...And also, for the record... I can't stop think-ing about you. You don't know me... Let's not get personal.
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You should keep that to yourself.I'll pick you up at 7:00.I'm sure you're a nice person, but you're white.
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No one wants that information.No.I have a problem with my brother getting se-rious with a white woman.
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Big's leaving his wife.Don't answer now. Think about it.To Adeena, Samantha's skin was a nonnego-tiable.
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No!I'll drive by at 7:00. I'll wait in the car. How can you say that?
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He told me at the furniture show.lf you come, you come. That's how I feel.
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What was he doing there?lf you don't, no pressure.I'm never going to approve and my approval means a lot to my brother.
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Drinking and leaving his wife. oh, my God.Wear the shoes.Just save us the time and trouble and get out before anybody gets hurt.
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Let's just say it. You won.These. Pass them.I'll send over some Mississippi mud pie.
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Was there a contest?That Saturday, when I was unable to take Miranda to her laser surgery due to a loom-ing column deadline, she didn't call Steve.The only place Adeena was interested in fu-sion was on a plate.
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There's always a contest with an ex. It's called ''Who'll Die Miserable?''.She decided to take things into her own hands. She can't dis me just cos I'm white.
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What did he say?Who needs a man to hold your hand, when you have cab fare and a black marker to write down emergency numbers? Please tell me you didn't say dis.
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He said, ''It's not working out.''And while Miranda was under the knife, charlotte was having her first glass of white wine with her white knight.Maybe you should stop seeing him.
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Then he leaned in and said, ''If you know anyone who's interested...'' You don't know anyone who is interested. He's married.I did the Hasty Pudding show a couple of times, to blow off steam.Race is a big issue.
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I'm aware of that.My friend Tom says that Harvard is still the most aggressive place he's seen.There is no reason to bring Race into this.
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Why is he telling you?And he's a trader.Chivon is a sweet man.
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To save postage on his newsletter?Not Tom Kennedy?We have great .
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What are you gonna do?Yes, do you know Tom?He happens to have the biggest... Black Cock.
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Nothing.He's a great guy. And his wife.We know he has a big black Cock.
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She's not gonna do anything.That's my idea of a perfect marriage.I was about to say the biggest heart.
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You're starting to bug me.Totally.But, yes, he does have a big black Cock.
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How dare he say that to you?charlotte nodded, thinking what a nice, sweet, handsome, funny, great couple they made.It's big African-American Cock.
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Married men never leave their wives.Excuse me, you just bumped into her chair. Don't make fun of me. My chin hurts.
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Even if he did, I have no intention of doing anything for two reasons A little crowded. What happened?
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I have a great boyfriend, and I'm not insane.Yes, but you bumped her chair.He raped my face.
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Let's order. What do winners order?You should say you're sorry.I'm never seeing him again.
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Didn't you feel like punching him?It's ok.To Charlotte, a black and blue chin was a deal breaker.
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No. it was too sad or something.No, it's not ok.I'm not backing down to her.
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I would have punched him.That's no way to treat a lady.That's not who I am.
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No, it is sad.Lighten up. It's brunch.She shouldn't sacrIf ice who she is because somebody has a problem.
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How long has he been married?charlotte realized that her date wasn't a man who came to women's rescue, he was a man who liked to start fights.Like me and smoking.
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Seven months?Excuse me, Sir...You want a piece of me?Too bad Aidan had a problem with it.
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The seven month itch. And just like that, charlotte's white knightBut you have to accept people for who they are.
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That's what happens when people jump into relationships too quickly.changed into a white nightmare. You choose cigarettes over a guy?
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I resent that. Trey and I are nothing like Big and Natasha.Miss Hobbes, your friend is here. He's not that cute.
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Don't listen to her.Carrie?You bought furniture, he was so cute.
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She's mid-breakup.Actually no, it's me.For him to dump me over a little thing like smoking.
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Thanks for the update.Carrie thought you might need some help. ok?Smoking is not a little thing.
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Trey and I really love each other.I'm on Valium, everything's ok.It's dirty and you're killing yourself.
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Who wants to split a Rubin?Here, give me your hand.We hate it. We put up with it cos we love you. You have a reason to quit.
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I'm meeting his mother this week, and if all goes well... if all goes well what?I'm good. I don't like being ganged up on.
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Trey is this close to proposing.Just don't let me hit the door frame and nev-er mention these goggles. Who's ganging up on you?
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I can feel it.one cab ride and two sleeping pills later, Steve put Miranda to bed.Smoking is a part of who I am.
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oh, my God. Really?All right. Give me your leg.I'll quit when I want to, not cos a cute guy told me to.
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You've just met.No, this leg. I want this leg. Right, Samantha?
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I've had pairs of pantyhose longer.Stop! No rescue. No.
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It's not logical. This is love.Fine, ok. All right!Fighting for Chivon is one thing.
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It's not logical.Put your feet in, Sleeping Beauty.Holding on to cigarettes is just wack.
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It's right, in my heart. I feel it's right.The next morning, after what felt like a hun-dred years, Miranda awoke.Tell me she didn't say ''wack''.
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Ok, whatever.And for the first time in her life, she saw things clearly.It's all total bullshit.
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So, how did he look?That night, Mr. July invited Samantha to come down and hang with him while he worked the Sunday shift.What is wrong with cigarettes?
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Ok. I'll take it.Hello? Where is everyone?Nothing, they're fabulous.
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As Miranda looked around, she realized the contest was over.The idea being in a firehouse filled with a calendar hot firemen, was a fantasy, Saman-tha felt, whose time had definitely come.It's not like you have a hideous doll-collec-tion.
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Steve was the ex that was going to die alone and miserable.Boys!You think that's an overreaction to a re-pressed childhood?
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